Cheryl Burke is ‘choosing not to date’ amid divorce

Cheryl Burke is ‘choosing not to date’ amid divorce

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Cheryl Burke is stepping into a new phase of her life. The IS Dancing With The Stars pro, 38, recently split from her husband Matthew Lawrence. Now, she is learning to be comfortable in her own company after the “grim” end of her marriage. For now, she is “choosing not to date,” she says.

“It’s just me and my Frenchie,” she tells Yahoo Life. “I’ve been sober now for four years, and with that comes self-reflection. I’m like a sponge and I’m just learning to love myself and learning to really be alone instead of lonely. I think it’s very important for me to establish that relationship with myself so that I don’t continue with that same pattern between men and relationships.”

When the time comes for the Dance Moms alum until now, she says she’s eschewing dating apps in favor of an old-school approach to meeting someone.

“I’m all about matches,” she says. “I know statistics show that they have a high rate. It’s not just about swiping left to see who’s good and what they do for a living – it’s deeper than that.”

The relationship she is most focused on right now, however, is the relationship with herself. Burke, who opened up about her past history of sexual abuse, has a self-care routine that includes meditation and therapy. One important thing she learned through both practices was the idea that “we are not our thoughts,” but the “observers” of our thoughts.

“It’s trying not to define yourself by outside sources,” she noted. “So your job, your friends, your family, your name … you’re developing this base yourself and knowing your self-worth without all of that.”

This includes eliminating people-pleasing tendencies that she has relied on in the past.

“I used to put everyone else before me and my needs, and I realize I’m doing it wrong myself,” she explains. “I think it’s very important to take a breath and be kind to yourself because this is not easy.”

Burke, who struggles with body dysmorphia, says what she sees in the mirror isn’t necessarily “what everyone else sees”. Although she tries to change the “word” around her self-criticism, she often thinks about her body.

“I think it’s very difficult for women to accept who they are today,” she said. “Especially if you are in business like I am in the entertainment industry … the devil is the comparison.”

“I hope one day my body dysmorphia will go away,” she says. “But I also have to … give it grace, and the same thing with age. It’s like, you have to accept it as it is and you don’t know that you’re working to be better… And the more you own yourself internally, the more you’ll see it is external.”

When it comes to feeling sexy, Burke says, “What makes me sexy every day is loving myself, giving me back and putting me first.”

She also recently revealed that she has never had an orgasm through intercourse – a story she says has been “misunderstood” by the media.

“I’ve had an orgasm before through sexual acts,” she clarified. “But when I used to joke, when I was a little girl, [there are] sexual acts that I don’t want done to me, because it’s exciting when it comes to my mental health. I know some women who have gone through something similar who also feel the same, or you completely disconnect and the act is sex, and there’s no meaning behind it.”

Now, Burke says she’s “unapologetic” about sharing her “life story” — even as some people complain she’s “sharing too much.”

The reason, she says, is because of “the amount of feedback and emails and comments I get from people saying, ‘Thank you. I know I’m not alone.’”

“That means … the world to me,” she shares. “It takes no shame, even to speak it, because I hope I’m going to set a good example.”

—Video produced by Olivia Schneider.

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